11 fatal things to say to your pregnant wife:
11. I finished the Oreos.
10. Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"
9. Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
8. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today.
7. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!
6. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt.
5. Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover dam retains water!
4. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 lbs.
3. I sure hope your thighs don't stay that flabby forever.
2. Darned if ya ain't about 5 lbs. away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.
And the most fatal thing to say to your pregnant wife is:
1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass."
But my personal favorite for runner up is:
"Everyother man does it!"
Live and Learn. Live and Learn.
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